Growing up in a religious world with religious elders, it would only follow suit that I would be a religious adult. For there was no common sense without religion; there were no morals without religion; there was no love without religion; there was no God without religion.
When I was 19 years old, I worked at Six Flags in Largo, Maryland. One summer night while leaving the park for the day, I took a glance up at the stars. While walking, I kept my eyes on one star in particular; the star began to move - it shot off, made a complete circle, shot off again then disappeared into space. I stopped walking, dropped my mouth, and looked around to see if anyone else saw what I just saw. The kids were running around, acting like teenagers, and I knew that no one else saw this mysterious thing move.
Now this was an interesting point in my life, because I forget many many things, but I never forgot about that moving star, nor did I forget the speeds and sudden moves that it made.
After this event, I became rebellious, and put it in the back of my mind, telling no one except on the rare occasion when me and my friends talked about seeing spacecrafts... You know how those conversations go, "I think there's life out there", "I do too", "Me and such a such saw a UFO the other day" yada yada yada; and I would casually say what I saw that one summer night.
As time went on, I became more and more religious, denying that spacecraft I saw, denying my humanity and sexuality, and denying the everyday bullshit that keeps this planet in a pit of darkness and death. From that point on, I didn't see another spacecraft for another seven years... but I'll get to that soon enough - in another post.
In my religious days, I was quite the Pentecostal - holiness church. I spoke in tongues, sung in the school gospel choir, and tried my damned hardest to be straight and attracted to women. Nonetheless, I found myself beating my dick to gay porn over and over and over again. Watching 2 men kiss caused instant movement in my pants and I would shout at my dick, "stop it!" I repented to my lord and savior Jesus Christ over and over and over again, feeling like I was a disgrace and that I needed to pray more - for I knew that Jesus could get rid of my homosexuality and make me straight; for there was little more important in the world than for Jesus to stop the gay man from sucking another man's dick and beating his dick to gay porn. I would remember my days as a child having fun with the other kids by "dry-humping" them and say to myself, "I was such a sinner. I'm glad that children don't go hell."
In my religious days, I was quite particular about my beliefs. In my mind, if you didn't follow the Christian faith to the 'T', you were not going to make it into heaven, for "narrow is the way, and those who enter are few". As I remember, I recall praying every day, every night, and blessing every meal with a prayer... it's all quite funny to me now because of the fact that I used to do these things. However, it's sad, because people still do these things and never question, "What exactly is the point?" It's sad because people don't look at things on a greater scale, nor do they realize that the larger issues directly affect the smaller issues. And it's sad because people don't realize that they are human... babies are human, young children are human, and they don't try to be anything else. They don't particularly enjoy being on their knees in constant prayer or worship, when they could be playing and having fun.
You see, a child who "dry-humps" other children and finds joy in making other children horny would be a resident of Eden - for all residents of Eden know that being horny is a wonderful feeling, and an orgasm is the feeling of glorious perfection... and even more, an orgasm with more than one person; there's no monogamy in Eden. Now, Eden does not exist on this planet today - and as of right now, it can only exist in the mind... for this world is still in exile, covered with a thick blanket so that God cannot be seen. You can tell this world is in exile by going into your nearest city and seeing all the wealthy well-dressed people walking on the sidewalks, and at the same time, seeing all the homeless men and women begging for money. You can also tell that this world is in exile by opening up a newspaper and hearing about gay men and women being killed because they enjoyed being human. So, plans are being made in the High Places to uncover Eden, to bring it from its hidden place... but when all is said and done, it's going to be up to the people - it's always been up to the people. It's all up to the Adams and Eves to stop sinking their teeth into that bittersweet fruit know as 'religion'.
If the people of this world want to keep eating that fruit, then they will eat it in the bitter exile of darkness and death, and they will be without God for a few more hundred or thousand years.
