I believe it was in 2003 that I left the Christian faith, and there were a couple of reasons. Since the bible to me was "the word of God", it was really what my faith was in. When I found discrepancies in the text, my faith was shattered - it was quite painful; but this was not the end of me being religious. I still had the mentality of a person brought up under the Christian umbrella of what God and life are supposed to be - it's why I still wanted monogamy. As time went on, I plainly admitted that I wouldn't concern myself with God or anything of that nature, because such things were futile for anyone to waste time on. You had theists who made a little sense, and atheists who made a lot of sense - so I decided not to waste my time; and this was the best decision I made from the beginning of my life until that point.
In 2005, I came across a few lines in the Gospel of Thomas (Greek Fragments) and one line in particular said, "A person old in days will not hesitate to ask a child seven days old about his place in life and he will live." I remembered that spacecraft I saw when I was 19 and I said to myself, "I'll give this a try. I'll assume nothing about God or life." In a sense, I emptied myself of all knowledge about God and life (except the day to day functions that I needed to get by). I didn't assume that there was only 1 God, or that God was a He or She, or that God was a spirit, nor did I consider anything concerning an afterlife. I wrote poems as you can see in some of my earlier Yahoo 360 blogs as I continually thought about things.
Soon after, I noticed that things began to change around me - now mind you, I still had a religious mentality... it is extremely difficult to get rid of and it does take a lot of time. Then I began to have these vivid dreams that explained many things to me. It was because of one dream in particular that I began to call God 'Yahweh'. When I started calling God 'Yahweh', the messengers began appearing in the skies above; but at that time, they gave no messages - I wasn't trusted with such things because I still thought about things with a religious mind... I didn't yet know that God cared more for compassion and justice than any amounts of faith or worship.
You can really understand a person just by watching their actions... so this is how I learned that Yahweh loves freedom, kindness, and justice. When I learned these things, I would go outside at night and think deeply about them, and at that point those spacecrafts began to glow brightly in response to what I thought or said. They also warned against any planned actions I may have wanted to pursue with slow pulses of red lights - they are rather fascinating. When a few of them fly together, they have a precision in such a way that you'd think they were connected. At one time, I did think they were connected until one flew off in another direction (this was actually a message in response to what I was discussing with Yahweh). I often wonder how many people in my area see them - because they are eye-catchers. At one point, they would come everytime I went outside at night, but now that I'm independent enough to stand on my own 2 feet, they only come when Yahweh thinks it necessary; like when my heart is heavy because of world conflicts and pain and I need to know that something will be done.
So going through 2 years of mental hell, I've come along with a lot more than I ever imagined. Now I'm stuck on an exiled planet with the mind of one who's a resident of Eden - I really have no one near me to talk to about these things except my brother Brent. So, I'm just letting it all out here. There are a few secrets of Eden, and it's only because of the knowledge and technology of Yahweh that these secrets are very much the reality. In fact, that first line of the Gospel of Thomas has more truth to it than you may realize; it's why Eden is more than just a perfect world, and far greater than any heaven.
